Alright, I will be coming back to Portland for a day trip next week. I’m not sure what day, but I felt super bad about leaving Portland without saying goodbye to cool peeps (also I have too much shit for one car).
50 Shades is to the kink community what Sharknado was to meteorology.
Anonymous said: What did Natalie Dormer do???
Something really amazing. Okay i’m gonna try to be calm about that.
So at the beginning of April I sent Natalie a letter asking for an autograph and just thanked for everything she did to me, you know she helped me through a lot of stuff like not on purpose but at this time she was basically the light of my life so to speak, and I told her that she did a great job by portraying all these different characters and so on, like a normal letter from a fan in my opinion. But probably not in hers.
And today I got this envelope. I didn’t really expect that she would answer but she did. Not only got I two autographs no I also got a letter, a freaking 5 pages long letter in her beautiful handwriting.
She told me that she never did that before, answering a fan and she was just so sweet???? And she called me sweetheart. I’m Natalie Dormer’s sweetheart ahhhh what is happening.
So that’s something she wrote:
So yeah, that’s the reason why Natalie Dormer is a perfect human being and if you don’t agree you’re wrong. Sorry not sorry.
why test on animals when there are prisons full of rapists
because the prisons aren’t actually full of rapists
the rapists run free and the prisons are full of people charged with weed possession
The saddest truth.
in case you were having a bad day, here’s a picture of Yo-Yo Ma, the famous cellist, on the floor of a bathroom with a wombat
I still have to figure things out, but my plan so far is:
- Bring a ton of stuff home tomorrow but not everything because I have to much crap.
- Sleep peacefully for a few days.
- Snuggle with my dog.
- Drive back up to Portland by myself to get the rest of my shit and say a last goodbye to friends next week.
I have to call my mom super early tomorrow morning but let’s hope this works out. I feel really bad about not saying a proper goodbye to good friends.
Being a high achiever then slipping into a non-functional depression
1. Who you are now is not who you will be in 10 years. It is okay to be somebody new 10 minutes from now. We are always learning. We are always growing. If you realized 10 seconds ago that you don’t like who you are, shed your skin, retry, replant yourself in good soil.
2. Cleaning is instant therapy. When your brain is muddy, take a shower, wash your hands, change your clothes. Spend 15 minutes straightening your living room. When you are angry, scrub things. I know it’s crazy but it works instantly.
3. Forgive someone’s debt if it’s under 50 dollars, forgive the small things, give a little time to yourself and forgive the big things too. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you. That being said - if someone ever hurts you in a way that would make me cry to know, you get out of there, my love. You just get up and go.
4. Gum karma is real and if you spit out a piece in public expect to find some on your shoe in the future. Same goes for insults and harsh judgement, too.
5. Do what you love and the money will follow.
6. Live your life with an open palm and give as much as you can and as often. At some point in your life, someone will lend you 50 bucks when you’re down on your luck. Remember how that feels. Remember to give that back.
7. Always wear clean underwear. You’ll thank me later.
8. There is a difference between being kind and being passive and there are those who cannot see that difference. They will try to walk all over you. Never bend your knees for those who do.
9. Have faith. Have faith in god or people or yourself or science or in luck or in all of the above. Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what keeps us strong.
10. Pay your bills on time whenever you can, although money is nothing. Remind yourself that.
11. Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. Speak at the level of the person you are with - it’s not playing dumb, it’s being considerate. There’s no reason to make them feel uncomfortable. Plus then when someone starts going off about their superior IQ, you can cut them to pieces and watch their face when you do.
12. You are the best person in the room for one particular thing, and that’s confidence. You are the worst person in the room for another thing, and that’s humility. Use both carefully.
13. Never make fun of someone’s beliefs or superstitions, let your kid keep their imaginary friend and let your best buddy believe in knocking on wood. We all have security blankets. Don’t take away someone else’s.
14. Try to learn something new every day.
15. The worse you look, the more likely you are to run into someone you know so instead of feeling awkward, learn to be confident in sweats while talking to your friends.
16. Never go to bed angry, it will ruin your sleep and make tomorrow even harder. Find a way to relax. Don’t let today get to your head.
17. Think before you speak. When someone says something, mull over their words before answering. This is called listening, it is different than hearing.
18. What keeps love beautiful is that there’s risk involved. If he breaks your heart and it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t love in the first place.
19. Never let someone else determine who you are or how happy. You are too strong to be torn apart.
20. I love you, even when we are fighting, even when I am fast asleep. Don’t doubt it for an instant. You are my everything."
I need to take a nap because I only got two hours of sleep last night, but I also need to keep packing, but I also need to say goodbye to friends/return their shit, but I also feel like I’m going to throw up from the combo of Dunkin Donuts and the 50 Shades of Gray trailer that I watched out of morbid curiosity and oh god oh god it’s so yucky please lord let it bomb in theaters and everywhere else and don’t you dare let Netflix put it on instant because I can’t fucking deal with Netflix suggesting shitty abusive relationship movies to me in the future under the guise of “steamy films.” The only way that movie is steamy is in the steamy pile of dog shit way.
I’m leaving Portland tomorrow.
Who wants to get lunch/dinner and say goodbye?
People get really irritated by mental illness. “Just fucking get it together! Suck it up, man!” I had a breakdown, and a spiritual friend came to visit me in the psych ward. And they said, “You need to get out of here. Because this is the story you’re telling yourself. You know, Patch Adams has this great work-group camp where you can learn how to really celebrate life.”
It’s something people are so powerless over, and so often they want to make it your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. I started thinking of suicide when I was 10 years old—I can’t believe that that’s somebody’s fault. Like, “Oh, you’re just an attention getter.” Mental illness isn’t seen as an illness, it’s seen as a choice.
Yeah. I have a joke about how people don’t talk about mental illness the way they do other regular illnesses. “Well, apparently Jeff has cancer. Uh, I have cancer. We all have cancer. You go to chemotherapy you get it taken care of, am I right? You get back to work.” Or: “I was dating this chick, and three months in, she tells me that she wears glasses, and she’s been wearing contact lenses all this time. She needs help seeing. I was like, listen, I’m not into all that Western medicine shit. If you want to see, then work at it. Figure out how not to be so myopic. You know?”"